Self talk of women for ownself

This book is written by seven women psychologists; and what a useful and delightful book it is! Each of the authors is a prominent psychologist in her own right. The book pools clinical expertise and wisdom culled from years of independent practice. It is a book written for women by women, although men can get a lot of use out of it as well.
The W2W (women to women) group, as they call themselves, sought to write about the challenges that women face in modern life and how they can meet these challenges while both staying sane and leading fulfilling, rewarding lives. This underlying theme evolves through an introduction of the concept of “self talk.” Self-talk is the internal conversation that we have which serves to point us in one direction or another. It is not always easy to find one’s self talk. Sometimes the conversation one has with oneself is really somebody else’s voice that has been internalized. Self-talk has three steps: voice mapping, reframing and movement strategies. Voice mapping is listening to yourself think about issues in your life. Listen to the “shoulds,” to the attitudes that you have. Reframing is the exploration, the therapy part. How else can you think about a particular issue in your life? What are the other options that you have in life? Movement strategies refer not only to thinking about things in your life in a different way, but also conducting your life in a new way.
We live in a time and a society when women have the greatest number of choices and the most freedom. Why, then, are so many women unhappy? A woman can choose to be a professional, a stay-at-home mom; she can choose to marry or to live a productive life single. Why, then, do women suffer depression about twice as often as men? Is it hormonal? Is it the stresses of life that are different for women, particularly the stresses of choice related to work/family responsibilities, sometimes called in today’s modern terminology, “role stress”? The authors make the point in a number of ways that being free to make choices does not in itself make one happy. It may actually lead to frustration at not being able to achieve all of the things that you are supposed to accomplish in today’s world. What if you cannot combine work and children very well? You are trying but things seem to always be out of hand — a refrain heard from many of our patients. This is a new form of oppression, the W2W group tells us. It is the oppression of modern day life; it is the expectation that women can do it all.

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