Ultimate Slav Simulator 2018 - Gopnik Edition

Priviet Tovarish!

Want to become a real slav? A true fearless bear-fighting gopnik?
This game ideal to you! Ultimate Slav Simulator 2018 will teach* you how to eat, dress, drink, squat, live and breathe** like a real slav.

How game work? - you ask.
Well, Tovarishch, no need to worry - is simple. You race against clock to complete a variety of slav activities - squatting, dancing, helping Babushka, cooking and many more.
As our slav scientists*** have concluded, this type of gameplay is a perfect way to learn all skills you need in a Slav World****. This same metod is also used in at least 0 schools in Slavia***** - so, you know is good!

Afraid that your western spy roots might intervene? No problem, Tovarishch!
This game is meant for everyone! With proper training anyone can become a true gopnik.

But I hear you say - "Ey, c*ka bl*at! How many money this cost, urod?"
No need worry Tovarishch! Ultimate Slav Simulator 2018 is completely free - game is free, download tozhe free, no" pay to win" in app purchases, leaderboard - free, achievements - free, ads - completely free. See? No problem! You download, you play, you become slav.

So what you wait? Go, download know! Compete against your friends and become the best slav of them all!












*game might teach you more or less
**doesn't apply if you're not currently breathing
***in this case "scientist" might not apply to a real scientist
****Earth8008s in Multiverse
*****Slavia might not be a real place